KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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