I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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