U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
