I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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