There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
