Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I understand Curling. That high.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
