dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
