My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize