Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
