All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
