ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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