just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
