Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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