No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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