Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
