I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize