My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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