Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
