My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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