so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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