i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize