I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
