No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
