if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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