There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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