this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
