I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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