It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
