he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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