my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
