Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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