I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
