You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
