I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
