normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Drake has all the answers
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
