I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
