you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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