That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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