so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
