So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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