I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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