I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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