how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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