so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
