Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize