Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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