I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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