At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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