Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize