Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
