Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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