I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
