i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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