Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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