Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
