i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
