So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
how drunk are you?
Several
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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