is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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