She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
