I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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