I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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