He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
