So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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