Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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