im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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