thus making me awesome and them whores
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
