shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
